Obama Administration Proposes New Tax... (Satire)

In an admirable attempt to provide better access to reproductive healthcare for American women and cut down on unwanted pregnancies, the President today announced plans for a comprehensive program to fund abortions for women who are struggling with the effects of unwanted pregnancies. The program will be available to any woman who just don't want that pesky baby. When pressured by reporters on how he expects to fund such a program since there is such widespread opposition to taxpayer funded abortion, the President said, "We have a plan to fully fund this program while remaining sensitive to those who, while clinging to their guns and religion, are against funding such activities." He added, "If we can find a way, in a free market economy in a free country to force big tobacco to advertise against itself, and make people who use a legal product pay punitive taxes to fund healthcare for low-income children...Surely we can find a way to get this funded in way that only affects a small group of people that can't do anything about it. Our Founding Fathers called this a bill of attainder...I call it CHANGE"

The reporter was surprised and said, "You can't do that..."
Obama replied, "Yes, We Can!"

He added arrogantly, "We won...we get to make the rules."

Realizing he had been distracted by the same hypnotic "change,change,change,yes we can" mantra that got the President elected, he got back to the issue at hand.

"Mr. President, how exactly are you going to fund this program?"

"Its going to be necessary to make fiscal adjustments to our revenues." he replied.

"Mr. President, does that mean you are going to cut spending in other areas?"

"Like I said, adjustments are going to need to be on the table" he replied.

"Mr. President, does that mean you are proposing a tax hike or a new tax?"

"Again, we live in a big country and we have big tables... I think there should be alot of plates, spoons, forks, knives and even a centerpiece on that table. Believe me, theres alot on my plate, but that hasn't stopped me. So, to sum up, we should put everything out there...on the table. The days of bare tables are behind us. There are those who say we can't fill that table. Can we fill that table? 'Yes, We Can!'"

"MR. PRESIDENT, how are you going to fund this program?"

The President reassured the reporter, "I am sorry, I can't give a straight answer without my tele-prompter, it was necesary that I stall for awhile until it was set up."

Irritated now, the reporter asked,"Now that you have your prompter online, could you please answer the question...Are you going to impose a new tax to fund this program?"

"Yes"

"You are?" he pressed.

"Yes"

"Can you elaborate?"

"Yes"

"WILL you please elaborate?"

"We have decided to let Congress work out those details."

"Mr. President, the blogger writing this is getting very tired of typing...the only way he can quit typing is if you tell us...What kind of tax are you going to impose to pay for these on-demand abortions?"

"Fine, in the interest of bringing this post to an end, I will tell you the brilliant plan we have come up with. We are going to impose a $2 tax on each condom sold in the United States. Only the condoms we give away in schools will be exempt."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Absolutely, this is exactly the kind of sense America voted for in November...We won."




This is the kind of assinine thinking that comes out of Washington. Not just from one party or the other...Not just from the Left or the Right. We have to return common sense to Washington D.C.

This is a silly parody, but everyday we get sillier and sillier solutions out of Washington.





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